SexTok with Zibby and Tracey

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I have just found out my wife fakes her orgasms sometimes. We’ve been together for seven years. She recently asked me if we could use her vibrator during intercourse so she doesn’t need to fake it. I am shocked. I had no idea, and feel hurt and angry that she didn’t tell me this before. Sh explained that she finds it difficult to climax during intercourse, which is interesting because none of my other partners have had this issue.2) With my consent, my boyfriend films us every single time we have sex—which is a lot. We’ve been together 18 months and his libido is still as high as it was at the start. He says he watches the videos and uses them to masturbate. Is this normal, or could it be an indication that he is a sex addict or up to no good? We’re both in our 30s.3) I have a very average sex life. My libido is low and I’m unadventurous in bed. I have a good relationship with my mother and asked her if this was the case with her. She said it was. Does this mean you can blame your parents if you have a rubbish sex life?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) Why do orgasms feel so much better when you’re on your own? When it’s just me and my vibrator, they are consistently intense and satisfying. It’s very hit and miss with my partner, even if he’s giving me oral sex (which is the only thing that works for me).2) In one of your previous podcasts, Tracey suggested that couples who’d been together for years might spice things up by visiting a sex club. My wife of two decades and I just did this—and we LOVED it. We just watched and soaked in the intensely erotic atmosphere. Now, we want to go back and this time have sex with each other at the club—maybe even invite others to join. Any advice on how to do this? How do we decide on our boundaries, and how do we stick to them in the heat of the moment?3) We only ever have ‘efficient’ sex because we’re tired parents. How do we stop being productivity machines and start being lovers again?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’ve been married a long time and our kids are about to graduate—the pressure is finally off. I’m as happy as you can be with someone you’ve been with for 25-odd years. Meaning, I’m also bored. I’ve paid my dues, and I want some excitement. There’s a man in my life that’s paying me a lot of attention. Am I bad for thinking that if I’m discreet and careful, I kind of deserve to have fun?2) Do you have a solution for the age-old problem for everyone who has sex: If one of you orgasms first—usually the woman, because ‘she comes first’ is a good motto—how do you maintain interest? Once you’ve climaxed, the horniness disappears and everything is half-hearted.3) What is the etiquette these days for STI testing with a new partner? I’ve only had one sexual partner my whole life and am out there dating again. I know what’s recommended, but how many people follow these guidelines? I don’t want to look out of touch.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’m reading lots of things on social media that suggest people who are emotionally volatile are better in bed. Is there any truth in this?2) Everyone talks about how having kids ruins your sex life. But no one talks about your wife never wanting sex ever again afterwards. It’s been six years since our last child was born, and we now have sex around three times a year. She has zero interest, and tells me I’m not being supportive for wanting sex with her when she’s so busy.3) I am a man in his mid-50s and have carried this for years: When I was 12 years old, my mother walked into my bedroom while I was masturbating and humiliated me for it. This has left me with intense shame ever since. How do you get over something like this? I feel uncomfortable even when a sex scene comes on when watching TV with my wife.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) Can you explain what role-playing games are? What would you recommend for guys, so it doesn’t come off as weird when I suggest it? I want something that women would find sexy and attractive. Also, do you really need to buy expensive costumes?2) After I’ve had intercourse with my girlfriend, she often asks me to give her oral sex if she hasn’t had an orgasm. Am I being squeamish for not doing this?3) How do you stop friends from meddling in your relationships? My friends dissect everything: how fast a guy texts back and the emojis he uses; they pour over his social media and put a negative spin on everything. I know they’re being protective because I’ve made some bad choices in the past, but they almost bully me into ending relationships they think I shouldn’t be in. I don’t want to lose their friendship, and I’ve asked them to butt out, but they continue to give unasked for opinions.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) My husband left me for a much younger woman. It happened two months ago, so the shock is wearing off, but I have no clue how to recover from this. I’m 51 and my husband is 55. He left me for a woman who is 30.2) If you could go back in time and give advice to your younger self about sex, knowing what you know now, what would it be? 3) What do you think would happen if you stopped all sexual activity, including masturbation? Would you go insane? Is it different for men and women? I am a man and just curious—I’m not going to try this.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) A simple question for you: what do people use dildos for? I get why a vibrator is appealing, but why would a couple need one?2) I’m in a new relationship with the most patient, loving man. He gives me the most fantastic oral sex, often bringing me to orgasm without a toy. But, he suffers from terrible PE and will orgasm just from giving oral sex. What can I do to help him, as I would love to be properly penetrated again? We're not young. 3) My girlfriend and I have been together two years. I’m mid 40s and she’s 13 years younger than me. We’re both into the idea of a threesome, but can’t decide whether to have FFM or MFM. My girlfriend thinks a threesome once a month sounds like a great plan, but I’m not sure. She’s suggested asking our personal trainer who is very hot and single. I think it should be an escort, which I have used in the past. Can you help with the logistics?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’ve been single for a few years and was desperate for sex, so started an affair with a friend of a friend. I knew he was married, and it’s not my style to sleep with married men, but we all got drunk at a party and it happened. The sex was incredible, so we did it again. We’ve been meeting for sex about once a fortnight for a year now. To me, that’s all it is—sex. So imagine my surprise when he told me he wants to leave his wife for me. I have no interest at all in a relationship with him. He’s said he’s hinted to her that there might be someone else and told the mutual friend who introduced us what’s been going on. I’m going to come out of this looking very bad. How do I manage it?2) I’ve been with my husband for 13 years and our sex is pretty good. We both used to take turns initiating sex, which is about once a week. Lately, he’s stopped initiating and leaves it up to me. He’s very happy to have sex when I do, but I don’t like it. I gently asked why he’s stopped taking the lead, and he said he hadn’t noticed any change so I just let it drop, but it’s bothering me. 3) I’m 31 and my boyfriend of two years is 25. We’re both really open about sex and he admitted early on to being addicted to porn and masturbation. He hasn’t done either—watched porn or masturbated—for over a year now. He’s in such a healthy place that I asked him if he wanted to start again. He was adamant that he doesn’t, for fear of becoming addicted again. Is that likely? I’m at a loss of what to do because I don’t want him to feel unloved or restricted.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!